I am on a flight from Atlanta to Denver... on the first leg of a journey back from a family visit. My presence was requested for my gorgeous niece, and her 3rd birthday party - I did a hoop performance and playshop. It was so wonderful, as always, to be with her and my nephew. (I promised myself that I would make every effort to ensure that they would know their aunt, even though I live so far away).

It's a 3 hour flight, and I just woke from a nap. To tell you the truth, I am little spun. Only three times in my life have a had a dream state like this one (and never on a plane!). It is a quality of sleep where I am teetering cautiously at the brink of conscious and subconscious, surfing the waves of thoughts and images in search of which is what.

The Dream:
I am on this very plane, in this very seat, in these very clothes.. on my way to where I go now. I am watching the direct tv screen. A news segment. The story is on making desires a reality (dreams coming true). I am fascinated as the anchorwoman holds up letters from viewers to demonstrate to her audience just how desperate they are for what she is about to offer them... the secret to living the life of their dreams. I quickly become disinterested in the story, as it is a sensationalized take-off of The Secret... but I am awed by the inclusion of a friend's letter among the many to the station... so, I DECIDE to wake up in order to send her an email, to tell her she is on the in-flight news show. So there I am... completely aware that I am dreaming with eyes open. Suddenly, I am in my body again... sleeping. I tell my body it is time to wake-up. Everything cooperates... only I cannot open my eyes. They are unmoving to the point of painful... stuck closed. It aches to try and open them, but I do. They will not budge. Anxiety surges through me, but I coax my emotions back to a center point in order to meet my aim more calmly. Slowly and suddenly, my eyes open. Ah, what relief!

But wait... I look around... I AM in the plane... in this seat, yet I suddenly realize that I am still not yet awake. Again, dreaming with eyes open tells me that I am still sleeping with eyes shut. Replay... I try to open them... again, they will not budge. Finally, they open at the urgency of my will. Again, I look around... and I am STILL asleep... and the cycle repeats for a third time!!

On this third attempt... I finally awaken for real.

When I finally woke, that depth... that prison of eyes wide shut beckoned me to challenge it with sleep again. There was no way that I would re-enter that unrelenting dream state. As l looked around at my environment, I struggled to tell myself that I was indeed awake... I was hesitant to be caught in the illusion again. Only a trip to the bathroom and a bite of food succeeded in convincing me. And now I sit perched on the bridge between this dream and that.

I had a dream almost identical to this months ago, where I woke... and woke... and woke. Finally to awaken to find that I understood what maya is... and the teaching that we are living in a dream in each and every moment. Although in my last dream, one very particular detail was different. Rather than my EYES that would not open... it was my JAW that was locked shut. My voice was that which would free me from the dream state. And today, it was my sight.

What I wake up wondering today is...
When will I really wake up? And what resistance will I face in order to push past that edge?

It is as though my eyes have been closed all along, and I have been waking up over and over ... and over again... to find that I have been dreaming with my eyes open for my entire life. Each new fabrication of reality is a dream... until I wake up to create a new one. Perhaps each time I wake up, the Observer that I am (my spirit) is activated to see more clearly. I have long felt that I am but a witness in the dream that is this world. Certainly, I have gotten tangled in many a drama in my past experience... however, the more that I wake up the more that I see that none of it permeated to the depths of who I really am.

I am the same Observer/Witness/Eyes that I was when I lost my yellow umbrella at kindergarten... when I was spinning around a May Pole in the 4th grade... and when I lost my virginity in high school. I am those age-less eyes that watched all the drama unfold in my heart and mind. And over the course of the years, I have become more and more aware of how many layers there are to this dream of existence. I aim to live from the eyes of this Higher Self, so that retrospect need not always be that which unplugs me from the storyline. And so I know that as I type these words, I am not awake. I know that the dream still has me in it. And I look forward to waking up again and again throughout the course of my life.

Perhaps one day... I will experience the awakening that only a few ever speak of. The enlightenment of seeing through all the veils at once. Death is the awakening that slices through them simultaneously... yet, I am willing to belief that The Purest Knowing is available right here on earth. May I awaken to find it one day soon.

Blessings to you in this Great Dream that is life....

Candice

Tags: dream, Awakening